I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
