Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
