Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
