Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize