Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
