Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We're too hungover to prance.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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