What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
