i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
