I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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