I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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