I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize