Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
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