2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
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