shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Still dying that you shit outside
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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