We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I am naked and annoyed.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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