I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
