i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
