Will you blow on my dice?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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