I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
