well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
