My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize