you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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