You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
