In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
