Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
