So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
