Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
