What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
