I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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