so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize