i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
