You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
