im about as happy as oj after his trial
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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