im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
