so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
