Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I touched a dick in church today
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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