god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize