She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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