It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
