Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
