Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
