Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
