dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
