he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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