Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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