You're so nebulous sometimes
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
