i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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