well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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