I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
