Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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