where does the pee come out of this thing
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
