remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
