Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Randomize
