You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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