Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
