I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
