My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize