420 ftw
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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